Seven years ago today...

Do you know what you were doing seven years ago today? I sure do. It was an emotional and draining day. We were watching Carson - his kidneys were a mess, he was on dialysis, he was pumpkin orange and he was so, so sick as he clung to life in the PICU. We had prayed for a Christmas miracle for him. When the transplant surgeon announced on Christmas Day that we'd try the living liver donation on December 27 we were elated. I went through some final tests and updates on the 26th. On the morning of the 27th, I was petrified that I would never see Carson alive again when I went into surgery. I prayed and prayed that my liver would be the perfect fit for him. That we could start life post-transplant.

Well, God had other things planned for that day.

Here are excepts from Carson's caringbridge site that day:

Thursday, December 27, 2001 at 09:05 AM (CST)
Yet another low in our rollercoaster ride. Rhonda was happily under sedation less than 1/2 an hour away from being opened up and Carson spiked a temp...big time (102.6 F).

Our tx day has yet again been postponed because of a temperature. Carson has spiked a little bit of a temp almost every day but as quickly as they come, they go away. This one just had bad timing and the distinction of being his highest reading yet.

Dr. Humar is proceeding with caution. There will be blood cultures, urine cultures, and PD (dialysis) fluid cultures. This may postpone things days or weeks, depending on what the cultures show.

The fortunate thing is that they had not yet opened up Rhonda. If they had taken her liver by the time Carson spiked then our live-donor option would be gone. Needless to say Rhonda will be devastated. We were so close.

Nana and Papa showed up bright and early this morning after driving the whole 15 hours straight. Jody M. showed up just in time for all the excitement. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers. I am going to go bang my head against a wall now.

Daddy

Quick update - 11:17 am. Rhonda is pretty much fully awake now. She is pretty devastated as she was ready, willing, and able to donate today. Carson's temp is going down.

Thursday, December 27, 2001 at 08:52 PM (CST)
How can I summarize today? Lots of disappointment and questioning, but in all we know that God has a plan and it's between Him and Carson. Hopefully someday soon they will let us in on all of it!!!

Well, our "dress rehearsal" went quite well. Since I've never been under before, they always watch for problems. Good to know that I will be okay with that. That's our silver lining of the day!

I had so much fear when I woke up in recovery. I found out it was 9 AM and I wasn't told much. I kept asking if Carson was okay and finally someone told me he was fine and still up in his room. Then, I worried that my liver wasn't suitable, so I worked my hand down to my tummy--no incision!?! Then I really started asking questions.

Soon my surgeon was there and told me that Carson had spiked a temp. He told me some other stuff, but I don't remember most of it. Will talk to him tomorrow. I got to see Travis and my Mom fairly quickly and they told me everything. I had a good nap this afternoon and am feeling pretty good, except for a sore throat. Not to shabby! I had IV's in both arms and a central line in my neck and was intubated when the PICU docs called the OR stat. I'm so thankful that they hadn't opened me up yet. The Lord intervened at just the right time.

Now, Carson's temp is down to normal, which is great. His dialysis fluid (which is tested daily) came back with a high white count. They are waiting for the cell breakdown, but that may be the culprit. If so, at least we have an answer and can go from there.

We appreciate all of the support we continue to receive. It was good to see you, Jody, Dolly, Steve, Bill, & Kim! (Hope I didn't miss anyone!) We sure needed those hugs today! It is also wonderful to have so much family here. That means so much to us.

More tomorrow!

P.S. Carson gave us more SMILES today--they were great! I caught some on video and hopefully some on film!!! That's our sign of Carson telling us that he is going to be okay!!!

Love, Mommy

As I re-read our words, I shake my head. I certainly didn't share our fears and frustrations. They were there. Although I am thankful to have our thoughts on those dark days. Only Trav and I know the stuff that was in our hearts and that didn't come out on the keyboard.

Yes, God and Carson did know the plan. We just had to be patient to have the plan revealed to us. We had so wanted the living donation option to work. However, we are thankful I was able to be a part of Carson's recovery.

We think of our donor family every day. Sometimes as Carson does something new, funny or cute, I think of the gift we all have been given by seeing him in action and doing these wondrous things. More to come as we lead up to Carson's transplant anniversary, but wanted to share thoughts on today.

Guess you could say that seven years ago today was the start of our miracle we had prayed so much for. It didn't feel that way at the time, but it was.