Struggles as a parent

Ever wish you could just live in your own bubble?

I'm an extrovert...yes, I occasionally need my quiet moments but I love to be with people. I love to learn about people, have fun and laugh with people, all of that great stuff. I draw my energy from being around others. If you couldn't tell from my blogging, I love to type/talk too. :-) Stories are what make each of us unique and I'm fascinated with that. Guess that is why I love scrapbooking too.

But today I wish I could just cocoon ourselves in from all of the outside world and influences. It's more the 'Mama Bear' instinct than anything that I'm responding too, I suppose.

I know that I'll never be able to protect our kids from everything. As much as we try, that is just how it is. Plus, sheltering them so they don't experience the 'real' world, doesn't help them when they are ready to face the real world. I'm all about that. Those lessons do stick!

But there is something so raw and hard about other kids' comments sometimes. They cut to the core of my heart and hurt so deeply. In many ways I know they aren't trying to be mean or exclusionary. Much of it is lack of awareness or lack of education about what it means to be hard of hearing. But when I hear the comments and see Carson still laughing, smiling and having fun...well I'm not sure if I should laugh with him or go find a corner and cry.

I know he often doesn't realize what is being said...is that a good thing or not? Does he get it when kids are teasing...I don't know. He has such a good heart that I don't think it is on his radar.

I think it's more of my issue sometimes, as it is my reminder that he's not like all of the other kids and that life will have different challenges for him (and for Grace) as two hard of hearing individuals. And that just sucks sometimes. I think of the 'not fairs' and 'whys' and yes, I get angry and frustrated. I get frustrated too when people don't attempt to communicate with Carson. (HE'S HARD OF HEARING!! THAT DOES NOT MEAN HE ISN'T INTELLIGENT!) While he is learning to read lips, he still needs to have an interpreter or someone that knows sign language nearby. ASL is how he communicates. People that don't get that are quite challenging to me. This isn't something that he's going to grow out of...it's reality. Then I pause and think - these are two very happy and wonderful kids, so should I just be able to be happy with them since they are so happy? Of course!

I am thankful he's in a great school setting and it's where Grace will go to as well. His class is learning ASL and from the sounds of it, many of the kids think that's 'cool'. It's that type of stuff that does my heart good.

So, any magic answers? I don't think so.

In the meantime, I'm off to look in on our two miracles, and kiss them goodnight just one more time.